A story from Middle-earth.

“Come on Filisia!” whispered Herran Maggot, “You run slower than a constipated dwarf!”

“Thats making the dwarf look to good.” said Herran's best friend, Tinder. Filisia was his little sister. Tinder was also Herran's cousin. They were all extremely proud of there Fallohide lineage.

The trio was jogging through the streets of hobbiton. The other day, they had snuck away from there homes in Bree-land and traveled to the Shire, so that they could attend Bilbo Baggin's 111 birthday.

“Hurry up, Fil, or we're gonna miss the fireworks!” said Tinder. At this Filisia put on a burst of speed. She was dying to see the fireworks. They turned the corner, and there it was. Filisia stopped and screamed as a dragon flew overhead! It pass over them and then exploded into a shower of golden sparks.

“Whooaaaaaaaaa!” said Tinder. Herran raised a eyebrow at him.

“I mean the dragon, ya know, its a dragon, ya know, cool, right?” said Tinder.

“Whatever,” said Herran, “NOW LETS GO!” he ran over to a table piled with pies. He commenced in stuffing his face.

“Whoa, man. You need to pace yourself,” said Tinder, “There is so much chow here, we need to like pace ourselves, ya now.... IS THAT A DWARF BUST MADE OF BACON? RACE YA!”

“What up! Save some ear for me!” said Herran, booking it to the Bacon Bust.

Filisia wandered around. She some relatives, talked to some friends, and kinda just stood around. Some of the hobbits started to ask for a speech. Bilbo got up to the front of the crowd and began.

“I know half of you half as well as I'd like to... and I know thrice of you twice as well as I'd like to!” This last bit left an awkward silence. Filisia went off to find Herran and Tinder. They where currently engrossed in a map of The Shire mad of cake.

Suddenly Bilbo disappeared! Filisia screamed and dive under a trestle table. Herran and Tinder didn't even notice. Filisia scrambled over to Tinder.

“Tinder! Tinder! Mr. Baggins! He.... he.... disappeared!”

“Hhhmm?” grunted Tinder, his mouth crammed with half the south Farthing stuffed in his mouth. He swallowed the immense portion of pastry and asked Filisia to repeat herself. She did and Tinder almost spewed ale all over the place. He rolled over laughing.

“What's your problem?” asked Herran.

“Fil...hahah Filis... hahah... Filisia tell... hahhahaha... tell Herran... hahahah... you joke hahahahah!” Tinder managed to say.

“Its not a joke! Mr. Baggins disappeared! Just ask someone!” protested Filisia. Herran tapped a chunky Sackvillebaggins.

“Excuse me, my weight watching amigo, Can you tell me the current whereabouts of a certain Mr. Baggins.” he said in his most professional-news-anchor voice.

“Huh?” said the Sackvillebaggins.

“I'm sorry for bothering you my rotund friend.” said Herran he turned back to Filisia.

“See, Fil. Nuthin to worry about.” he said. Filisia frowned and said”

“Ask someone sober.” she said.

“Could be difficult in the areas.” he retorted.

“You say you like to try to push yourself.”

“'Try' is the key word.” said Herran with a smug look on his face.

“Whatever I'll ask.” said Filisia.

“WHOLY QUACOMOLE CHEESE CURDS! WHAT IS THAT!” shouted Tinder.

“That my salivating companion is a chicken inside a sheep inside a turkey inside a deer inside a pig, deep fried, and served with gravy. Beef gravy.” he said.

“Thats disgusting.” said Filisia.

“Go get it Buddy!” shouted Herran. Tinder sprinted towards the delectable meaty treat. He knocked over the Harfoot carrying the tray, and attacked the hotdog. Filisia rolled her eyes and trudged of to talk to some hobbits washing dishes.

“Hi, I'm Filisia.” she said.

“Hey Pip! Look, its farmer Maggot's niece!” said one of the hobbits.

“We didn't take those carrots!” said the one named “Pip.”

“Huh?”

“Fool of a Took! Have ye got no brains Pip! Do not mention the carrots!”

“Well, its to late now Merry!” during this heated discussion, Filisia wandered off to ask someone else.

“Hello, sir? Can you tell me where Mr. Baggins is?” she asked a Brandybuck.

“Mr Baggins? No I don't. He just disappeared!” She was thrilled to find that she wasn't crazy. She walked over to Tinder and Herran.

“That Harfoot over there just told me that Mr. Baggins did disappeared!”

“Oh whatever.” said Tinder through a mouth-full of hotdog.

“We should probably start heading back to the farm.” said Herran suddenly realizing how late it was and how much trouble they'd be in.

“I kinda like this place. We should hang out a while here.” said Tinder.

“Yeah! And I want to find out more about Mr. Baggins!” protested Filisia.

“Besides, think of all the leftovers!” said Tinder.

“Do you think that there just going to leave all this food here, my large stomached friend.”

“Possibly, seeing as most of the hobbits here about 15 to many ales.”

“That is true, my bottomless pit,” said Herran, “So we make a take-out bag.”

“Nice compromise.” said Filisia.

“I know, right?” said Herran. He and Tinder tore of there shirts and heaped food into them.

“Okay, I think we have enough.” said Herran.

“Probably.” said Tinder. He sat down on a bench and yawned.

“I'm dead alive.” he said. His eyes where putting up a furious battle to stay open. Eventually, his eyes got clobbered. He fell into a comatose on the spot.

“Well, it looks like where spending the night!” said Herran. He found a enjoyable looking patch of grass, and proceeded to fall asleep. Filisia did the same, and soon the trio was snoring in the grass.